شعر من تأليفى بالغه الانجليزيه

[muslimaaaa]

http://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhttp://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/199/199525hoz6kz8jxy.gifhow much i need you to be here

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and to see my tears


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yes my prophet you are there in the gave
and i'm here

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but i feel you are soo near

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i wish i could see you one day

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to be happy ,and not to move away

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i will be waiting fot that day

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it could be now or a nearly day

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i'm afraid to see you

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and to found the angles taking me from you away

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sorry my prophet ,i heard alot about you and yes i tried to be as you want me to be

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could i be with you

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i wish my dream become true

[اخت الشهيد]

حلو, بس لي بعض الانتقادات
بما انه شعر, مفروض يكون كله بوزن واحد
بيحث يحتوي كل سطر نفس عدد الكمات اوما يقارب
ايضا لاحظت انك مهتمه اكثر في القافيه
في الشعر الانجليزي ليس من الضروري ان يكون rhyming
الاهم بنظرهم ان يكون على وزن واحد ونغمه واحده وان يحسن الشاعر استخدام الكلمات
على العموم..لا بأس بهذا!! الكلمات رائعه
اتمنى ان تواصلي هذا ومع الاستمرار تصبحين ان شاء الله
شاعرها انجليزيه!! وبالطبع نحن بانتظار كل جديدك

تقبلي مروري وانتقادي !!

[muslimaaaa]

:character0175: جزاكى الله خيرا" يا أخت الشهيد , شكرا" على الرد والشعر ده كان بدايه كده يعنى انا اصلا" مش كويسه اوى فى اللغه الانجليزيه بس بحب الغه الانجليزيه و بحاول اكون احسن فيها ان شاء الله و انا كتبت كذا واحد كمان حكتبهم فى المنتدى ان شاء الله و عيزاكى تقوليلى تعليقك فيهم و انا على فكره مش بزعل خالص لما بينتقد شيىء انا عملته بالعكس انا كده بعرف فين الغلطه و بحاول اصلحها :0403:

[اخت الشهيد]

لا ماشاء الله باين من الشعر اللي كتبتيه انك شاطره في الانجليزي
بس محتاجه تدريب في الشعر وبس!! لكن بالنسبه للغه, قويه ماشاء الله
انتي واصلي واستمري على الكتابه, وانا ان شاء الله راح افيدك بكل مااستطيع

[muslimaaaa]

شكرا" ليكى يا اخت الشهيد http://sl.glitter-graphics.net/pub/690/690736hg1i7qg29i.gif